Given that Vincent van Gogh suffered so much with his own mental and emotional well-being and that the anniversary of his death looms, (July 29 1890) it seems only right to dedicate a Moodscope post to this great artist.
Vincent, a prolific letter writer, who expressed himself beautifully, wrote to his beloved brother, Theo, just two months before he died. The letter was never sent but in part, said:
'I feel a failure. That's about it as regards me. I feel that that's the fate I'm accepting and which won't change anymore.'
Listening to those words on the audio tour, at the spectacular Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, whilst gazing at his final paintings, moved my heart to tears. I wonder who of us have not thought or uttered those very same words at some point? Who of us have not crawled into bed and prayed that we don't wake up? Or worse.
What was so touching about Vincent's thoughts, his low self-worth, was that literally, just a few months previous to Van Gogh's suicide, he'd painted a beauteous painting for his new born nephew. The exquisite and soothing almond blossom against a blue sky being an apt choice to mark the beginning of a new life. Just one example showing that even despite his own mental anguish and emotional pain, Van Gogh was thinking of others.
As Don McLean's moving tribute song to Van Gogh says, we too maybe feeling like there is 'no hope left inside.' We may feel we don't fit cleanly into the jigsaw around us.
Van Gogh felt a failure and yet his qualities, the overall goodness of his heart, his appreciation of beauty and his efforts to keep trying, make the moving lyrics of that same song stand out anew:
'This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.'
I think that maybe said for a great many of you too.
The Moodscope Team